Have you ever had one of those nights where you just can't sleep??? It usually takes me a little while to go to sleep, but last night I was wide awake with millions of thoughts going through my head. I tried watching TV for a bit. I tried reading. I tried closing my eyes for a very long time, hoping that I would trick my brain into thinking I was tired. Got up, got a drink and still nothing worked.
I was thinking about the book I am reading. The couple in the book lost a child in a car accident. I think I would take to the sea also. I wondered if I should let Aliya go to a fellow classmates birthday party even though I don't know the parents at all. I wondered if Neal would actually dress up as a vampire on Halloween and let me call him Edward all day. Random thoughts of random people from my past. I hope they are happy. Shoot, I forgot to get Neal Oreo's at the store. I hope Neal is happy. He works so hard. I hope Misty got all her crafts done for her Halloween Party. I miss her. Sometimes I feel like I can't function until I have talked to her. I realized how emotionally dependent I am on people. An email from a friend. Neal's morning kiss. Seeing my Mom. Hugs from my kids. I wish I could do something to help a friend. She is such a great Mom. She is going through an almost impossible life right now and still she has time and energy to make my family banana bread. I wish I could help, but I know that all I can do is listen when she needs someone to. I hope my kids go to college. Will it really work if I keep telling them that's just what you do after high school? College is the time to prove you can make good decisions without your parents guidance. Actually prove you can be an adult. Why don't my kids ever complain about going to church? Why do I? Would it make Neal feel bad if I dressed him up as a vampire and went around calling him Edward all day?? All those poor people in California. I hope all of our family in California stay safe. MMMM In N Out sounds good right now. If I had a cheeseburger from In N Out
I would for sure be able to go to sleep.
Grant woke up. I was thankful for the distraction. Then Neal's fire pager went off. I listened to that for a little while . Finally about three oclock a.m. I fell asleep. The random chatter in my head stopped. I had a lot of other thoughts going through my mind, but they are a little too personal to write in a blog. Those stay in my head. Thoughts for me myself and I to figure out.
I was thinking about the book I am reading. The couple in the book lost a child in a car accident. I think I would take to the sea also. I wondered if I should let Aliya go to a fellow classmates birthday party even though I don't know the parents at all. I wondered if Neal would actually dress up as a vampire on Halloween and let me call him Edward all day. Random thoughts of random people from my past. I hope they are happy. Shoot, I forgot to get Neal Oreo's at the store. I hope Neal is happy. He works so hard. I hope Misty got all her crafts done for her Halloween Party. I miss her. Sometimes I feel like I can't function until I have talked to her. I realized how emotionally dependent I am on people. An email from a friend. Neal's morning kiss. Seeing my Mom. Hugs from my kids. I wish I could do something to help a friend. She is such a great Mom. She is going through an almost impossible life right now and still she has time and energy to make my family banana bread. I wish I could help, but I know that all I can do is listen when she needs someone to. I hope my kids go to college. Will it really work if I keep telling them that's just what you do after high school? College is the time to prove you can make good decisions without your parents guidance. Actually prove you can be an adult. Why don't my kids ever complain about going to church? Why do I? Would it make Neal feel bad if I dressed him up as a vampire and went around calling him Edward all day?? All those poor people in California. I hope all of our family in California stay safe. MMMM In N Out sounds good right now. If I had a cheeseburger from In N Out
I would for sure be able to go to sleep.
Grant woke up. I was thankful for the distraction. Then Neal's fire pager went off. I listened to that for a little while . Finally about three oclock a.m. I fell asleep. The random chatter in my head stopped. I had a lot of other thoughts going through my mind, but they are a little too personal to write in a blog. Those stay in my head. Thoughts for me myself and I to figure out.
4 comments:
amy.. I used to be up all the time real late too, until I got diagnosed with narcolepcy, an amazing drug they gave me to put me to sleep. oh how my life was blessed haha but im really sorry you couldn't sleep, i know how you feel, just cant go to bed sometimes. however my thoughts are much different. Will I get married? Will I be successful being a cop? Will I be able to do well in college? Will my loved ones think differently of me if I don't pursue a mission because of my health? Will pictures of my past just leave my head? haha just a little different thoughts then yours but I do have those nights. well all the information of me wasn't necessary. just lettin you know, your not the only one that has those nights sometimes. so dont freak out too much. haha well amy, just know that your family loves you! me mom and dad josh jason and misty all love you so much!! your an awesome sister to me, i dont think i could of asked for better sisters that i have now. you and misty are awesome. always help me get through everything and help me realize life gets better just hang on. i dont know what i would do without you and misty and josh and jason and mom and dad. i am so thankful to have such a great family that i do. i love you all! but sorry for blabberin on.. im sorry you couldn't sleep. hope your nights since then have been better :) love you amy!
Thanks James. I hate when I can't sleep. It has always been that way for me though. You are going to be great. Don't even worry about anything. You are a great kid. I think we have a pretty awesome family also.
OK Amy- time for medication. hehehehe
I know what you are saying about not being able to function until you talk to me. I feel the same way. It's like feeding Lo breakfast or changing a diaper, it just feels weird if I'm not the one doing it. It just feels weird if I am going through my day and haven't heard from you.
Okay Misty do I need medication for sleep or for the Edward thing. hehehe :) Maybe both.
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